So many times we build things up in our head and they turn out not nearly as terrible as we once thought. God often gives us a nudge to do something. Take a step in a certain direction. We begin to mull it over in our head, and then we start to get the same message in different places. Repeatedly. At this point we are sure God is speaking to us and have no doubt on what He wants us to do. The question is, will we take that step of faith?
I have never had God ask me to take that step, while at the same time, show me clearly what will happen next. It is always after I take that leap of faith in which He reveals the next step. At that point I slowly begin to understand why it was necessary for me to take that first step in the beginning.
It is always hard to get from the point of knowing what He wants you to do and actually doing it. Once we realize what it is we are to do, we create multiple possible outcomes and multiple possible reactions in our head. Oh the unnecessary stress and worry we do to ourselves.
A few months ago, when I was sick of taking care of our home – constantly picking up after the kids, high utility bills, constant upkeep – I jokingly said to Josh (my husband), “I just want to sell this house and move somewhere smaller.” Then I quickly recanted and said how much I love our home – which I do. That conversation was no accident because soon after that God began revealing to both of us that we really did need to sell our home and move somewhere smaller. Ouch. This was not an easy realization for either of us. The reasons are long on why I don’t want to sell: I hate moving; I am emotionally attached to our house; the kids have friends in the neighborhood; we use every inch of space in it; I could never show a house while homeschooling 3 kids and have 2 dogs. But we are sure we heard Him.
God is serious when He wants you to hear him. Our sermon series after this was about how money doesn’t buy happiness and about how God wants us to learn how to be more generous with what we have. Every book we picked up to read had this underlying theme. It seemed as if everything we were encountering was sending us the same message. It has taken me a while to accept this as a reality. Now it’s time to prepare our house to list and pack up all the junk we aren’t using so things don’t look so cluttered.
Not yet seeing the other side of this, I can only imagine that part of this is a lesson to us that a house is just a material possession. The less we are attached to things, the more we are connected to Him and the more we focus on the only thing that really matters. And of course the fact that we will have cash on hand to help those in need when they need it instead of pouring it into heating and lighting a home that is much bigger than we actually need. I just read an article yesterday about how 19% of Nashvillians live in poverty. Right here in our backyard. I have zero right to complain about my sadness of moving.
It is interesting…the more blind steps of faith I take, the more He asks me to take. All that worry and time we spend on what possibly may happen – wasted. We live in a state of fear for no reason. God has everything worked out for us and all we have to do is obey and trust. When we hide in fear of the unknown we miss out on blessings. When we sit comfortably where we are because we are familiar with our surroundings and how things will work out, we miss God.